Second Update

I know, I know: Why is he posting another update a day later. Well, I wouldn't except that we have BIG NEWS.

Yesterday, amid swirling rumors that the BAR results had gone out on Thursday or Friday, Shelly kept a hawk-like watch on the mailbox, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the unsuspecting mailman. About 1:30, he pulled into the lot, whereupon I was directed to go get the mail, not even allowed enough time to don my shoes.

I went to the box, trepidation dogging every stride. I opened it, rifled the mail. In the haul was a yellowish envelope from the NC Bar Examiners, should the return address be believed. Rushing it to the house, knowing my very evening hung in the balance (triumphant trip to see Dark Knight, or a dark night indeed as I comforted my stricken wife), I handed it off. Shelly ripped it open, unfolded the letter and read the first word:

"Congratulations!"

I'm not really sure what happened the next five minutes, but it seems like there was a lot of cheering and jumping up and down. The next thing I remember, I was on the phone with mom, who was admonishing me not to call her at work unless there was a nuclear war going on.

But, short story shorter, Shelly passed! Two months of studying for eight hours a day paid off! She's officially a member of the BAR!

I just thought everyone might like to know! Now get back to your Labor Day celebrations!

Weekend Update, with Kevin Nealon



(Come to think of it, I really miss those skits on SNL.)


Well, it’s been a busy week again, hasn’t it?

I was really sorry to see the Olympics end. I’d gotten so used to coming home, eating dinner, and then spending four hours watching the NBC coverage. OK, sure, it was on the DVR, so we could fast-forward, but still. It’s a shame the USA lost the Gold Metal race this year (and lost it big), but we still won the overall medal tally, so I guess that’s something. Personally, I think the teams that win gold should have EACH team-mates' medal count towards the Gold Tally, but no one really asked me my opinion about it.

On a totally unrelated note, Shelly was shocked to her core when, out of the blue, I asked her if we could take up watching Dancing with the Stars this coming season. I just thought, what with Shelly’s favorite show So You Think You Can Dance going off, we could pick up another dancing show! Yes, I was just being a supportive husband! However, Shelly, befuddled by my request, checked out this season’s cast and came to the preposterous conclusion that I wanted to watch the show because Misty May is going to be on there! Can you not understand how deeply that must have hurt, my own wife impugning my pure motives? Just for that, I’ll probably never watch the show again after this season, just to spite her!
(UPDATE: After watching a preview for the show last night, I just don't know if I can do it. Oh, dear Lord, that show's terrible.)

Well, anyway, the Charlotte trip bears reporting. Shelly got home late on Friday, so we didn’t leave until Saturday morning. Once there, I was drafted into a trip to ‘get ice’ for the party, which turned into a 2.5 hour trip around town with Michael and Louis, which did fortunately net me some free ice cream, courtesy of one of Michael’s myriad contacts. We returned home to the realization that we’d actually forgotten to get the ice, ostensibly the reason we’d left in the first place.

We rectified that error, and the guests began rolling in around 6 pm. Mary and David came in, followed by Miiiisty and Christie, then followed by Ashley Kuda, Stefanie, and Julius. After a scrumptious dinner, we settled down to play some games- Ashley had neglected to bring Pictionary (which she blamed on Stefanie, doing a wonderful falsetto impression that Stefanie answered with "Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what I said and that’s exactly how I said it!" The pregnancy hormones are doing their work.), so we all played "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" instead. I was matched up with Misty and Christie, Shelly was on a team with Ashley, and Julius and Stefanie rounded things out (Get it? She’s pregnant, and I said ‘rounded out’! Har har har! At least I’m not using the term ‘pregnasaur’- Danielle let me know long ago that this was not something a woman likes to hear at that delicate phase). Stefanie and Julius were going strong, but stumbled on the $100,000 question, failed to be saved by the Shelly/Ashley duo, and dropped back to $25,000. They did ‘cheat’ off of us, though, so we got $1000 for that. Shelly and Ashley went next, and wisely stayed on $50,000 when they had no clue of the answer. But Misty, Christie and I stole the show, getting to the Million Dollar Question, going for it, and successfully answering it! Misty pointed out at the completion that we actually had "one million, one thousand dollars" the thousand of which she pondered burning in the fireplace for warmth. Shelly, not known for her grace in losing, wasn’t very amused.

Minus the Collier twins, who had to go home to let the dogs out, the rest of us played Boggle. I would have came in second, but I was caught cheating on the last round (so Stefanie says; I really thought "warden" was spelled with an 'i'!), so I was stripped of my medal. Shelly took silver and Stef took bronze (I think; it might be the other way around).

The next day, after I was tricked into going to the mall to see Batman but instead was subjected to shoe shopping (that Scrubs skit where men just glaze over and go catatonic at the merest mention of shoe shopping is spot-on), we went home.
So, that leads to this week.

Well, today, we got Shelly’s first paycheck from the Court of Appeals. I never thought I could be simultaneously pleased and emasculated. At least I never really had a problem with my wife making more than me, otherwise I would have been ill-advised to marry a lawyer.

Also today, John McCain selected Sarah Palin to be his VP. From what little I’ve seen of her resume so far, I really like her, and I doubt her inexperience is going to keep John McCain from going after Obama for the same fault. After all, she’d be VICE President, not President, and if Obama really thinks she’s unqualified due to inexperience, he’s just telling on himself since she has about as much as he does. Then again, maybe I just like the selection because I wasn’t thrilled about the other alternatives.

So, looking to the future, on Sunday, we’re having the Quintessential Quartet (I just coined that term- like it?) over for dinner. Classic Erika and Jason will be joining us, as will Matt and Brunette Erika. Here’s hoping for a rousing game of Apples to Apples! And perhaps a rematch of "Erika vs. Turning Leaf"! (The first bout went to Turning Leaf, by KO…literally.)

Also, looking futher ahead, Miiiisty, acting on the fact that we'd expressed mild interest in going, booked Shelly and I a room at the Anderson Beach Club in Myrtle Beach. Apparently, she thought we'd back out if she didn't lock us in, that crafty Misty Collier. So that's where we'll be the last weekend of September.

Well, everyone, that's about all the news that's fit to print (I'm appropriating the New York Times' motto, since they should be using "You have to fill a paper up with something"), so I wish you all a Happy Labor Day, and I'll talk to you again next week!

Vacation, Part 2 and Classic Erika’s Eternal Birthday Dinner

Well, I did say 'tomorrow', but, you know how things go. Anyway, here's the synopsis of the rest of the week.

Wednesday, not much happened, although Scott did take a trip back to Hooter's to see Anastasia. I didn’t go- I thought I might be pushing my luck asking to be his wingman twice in one week, as Shelly made it clear that, should I feel the need to be 'wingman' again, my 'home airfield' would greet my return with 'anti-aircraft fire'. I successfully read between the lines on that one. Also Wednesday, the family was treated to another Mom vs. Christopher showdown, when the little fella demanded to return to the house because he was itchy. The situation escalated until Mom threatened to move his chair down the beach so the rest of us wouldn't hear his whining. I, regretfully, missed that, but Shelly was there to relate it in blow by blow detail.

So, that takes us to Thursday, Aquarium Day. Forgoing the beach, Shelly and I headed over to Manteo to see the NC Aquarium, which we had visited three years ago. After a historic trip to the bathroom for Shelly, lasting a good quarter hour, and during which time I walked all over the grounds and took lots of good pictures, we went inside.

It was just as good as I remembered it; lots of interesting critters, exhibits, and the like. My favorite part was the sting ray petting pool:

Later that night, we all played Apples to Apples- actually, we played three different nights, with Tina, Brooks, Mom, Dad, Grandpop, Shelly and I all in the game. most people won at least once (I was not among them, though). Dad, in a decision that will live in infamy, choose my card "The Pyramids" as the best choice for the card he was judging, "Extreme". Shortly afterwards, I gave Brooks the "Glorious" card as a reward for his proffered "Tyrannosaurus Rex" card, passing up "Sunsets" and "The Grand Canyon". Mom and Tina cold only shake their heads. Shelly, though, said she knew it was over as soon as she saw "T Rex" show up in the deck.

That just left Friday, and the bitter-sweetness of our last beach day, which came and went too fast. At least we got treated to one more outburst, when we ordered dinner that night and Dad found out he owed $63 for four pizzas.

And then it was Saturday morning again, and time to go home. After a few tearful goodbyes, Shelly and I got on the road about 9am to head home. We stopped at The Dunes Restaurant, our traditional outward-bound breakfast spot, but Shelly decided to forgo her hard-won promised stop at the Outlets.

So, that brings us to last week.

Classic Erika's Eternal Birthday Dinner!

After acclimating myself back to work, on Tuesday Shelly and I were set upon by Erika, eager to celebrate the commencement of her 29th year. Meeting her and Jason at Maggiano’s, the two of us allowed ourselves to be talked into "Family Style" dining. See, how this works is the table selects two things from each menu (appetizer, main course pasta, main course meat, and dessert), and you can order as many refills of each as you want. I hadn’t eaten lunch that day (just why escapes me at the moment) and was ready to go, but after two plates of cheese sticks, a salad, pre-dinner bread, two orders of veal parmesan, two orders of chicken something or other, three orders of ravioli, and two orders of eggplant parmesan, even I was starting to slow down. However, despite the fact I wanted no more food, ever, trash talk began to develop regarding the remaining dishes. Not to be outdone, I challenged Jason to a game of ‘chicken’, in which each of us took the last two whole pieces of chicken and contested to see who could finish theirs first. I lost, but I think Jason had a bit of a jump on me, if memory serves.

Anyway, following dessert (no, not kidding), Shelly and I rolled home, and I didn’t eat for a solid 24 hours. I don’t take any pictures, but Erika was so good as to forward Shelly and I the most unphotogenic crop of pictures I think I've ever seen. Here's the absolute best one of the lot:

Men love darkness rather than light not because their deeds are evil, but because it conceals the horrible effects of a 12 course meal. But here's Erika and Jason, looking smarmily perfect as always.

OK, I think that’s about enough for one night. Shelly and I will be headin' for Charlotte this weekend (the city, not the obnoxiously cute toddler- and yes, Erika, I'll post the picture of her and Shelly next time), so there will be no updates. I might entertain myself whilst there by logging on to Julia's Webkinz account and earning her money, since I've been spending so much of it hooking Slinky up with his rockin' bachleor pad. And we'll probably get to see all the Kuda's, Collier's, Bibbs, Zambranos, Rentases, and Mooses whilst there, so I'm sure I'll have pictures to post when I get back.

So, until then, everyone have a great weekend!

Vacation, Part 1

(Since it's now been two days since I started writing this and I'm still nowhere near done, I'll just break this into chunks. Here's the first section.)

I now know, should I come short of the glory of God and end up in the less desirable half of the afterlife, exactly what my punishment will be. It will take the form of multitudes of screeching, inconsolable children, who are unhappy due to everything from taking baths to being uncomfortably itchy on the beach to losing at impromptu pool-related games to reasons beyond anyone but the Creator’s ability to discern. I’m fairly sure, just for good measure, these multitudes will range in age anywhere from 1 to 8 years old.

I kid! I kid because I love! The children weren’t that bad, although by my new calculations, Shelly and I won’t be ready for child rearing now until we’re in our mid 50’s.

We had a great week at the ocean, staying once again in Carolina In My Mind! Shelly and I, blessed by the fact that North Carolinians neglect the Outer Banks for southern beaches, had a nice, leisurely drive through the eastern part of the state, arriving at the beach house about 4 hours after departing Durham. My Marylander family members, despite a 3 hour head start, arrived an hour and a half after we did. Fortunately, the cleaning crew left the door unlocked, and Shelly and I were able to go in and make ourselves at home. We were actually in the hot tub when they finally arrived!

Mom, Dad, Tickie, and Scott still had a better day of it than the other DeAdder family from Mount Airy. Primed for an early start, Brooks, Tina and the kids quickly found that a severe lightning storm from the night before had fried their water pump, which resulted in a 5 hour, $2000 delay as they waited for repairs to complete. I wrote the following haiku to commiserate:

Morning trip delayed.
Pump falls prey to bolt from Zeus.
Finish line not crossed.

The last line is a homage to something Brooks and Dad love to tell me ever since I bought the townhouse: "With home ownership, you never cross the finish line!"

The first night we were there, a giant lightning storm blew in to the north of us (about an hour after Brooks and crew arrived; they’re just lightning magnets). One huge cloud just continually flashed lightning for over an hour. I took a video of it, though it doesn’t give you quite the scale involved. I’ll attach it to a post after this one, since it’s a very large file. That cloud is so far away that you couldn’t hear the sound of thunder, so you know how big it had to be.

Sunday, after a nice, relaxing day at the beach, Shelly and I went back to Tale of the Whale to celebrate our 2nd Anniversary (which was Tuesday, July 29th- she was taking the BAR the actual day). Despite saying all year I’d get the snow crab legs this time, at the last minute I caved and got the crab-stuffed lobster again. Here’s the sign, for any who didn’t see it last year, as well as the view from our table-side window.

After another successfully relaxing beach day Monday, with warmer water and no waves to speak of, Scott cashed in on the final outstanding provision of the floor-laying endeavor from May- an all expense paid trip to Hooters! (Shelly actually found the receipt for this last night, and I had to haltingly explain just what I’d spent 75 dollars on at Hooters). After enjoying $7 crab legs (good for the final bill) and 9 rounds of Miller Lite (very bad), Scott was feelin’ lucky and did his level best to pick up our waitress, a Russian girl named Anastasia. It almost worked- she spent 2 hours sitting at our table, chatting with us, then asked that we come back and see her on Wednesday. This, despite Scott’s delving into Truly Tasteless Jokes to garner a laugh, his detailed recitation of his previous failed attempts to land Hooters waitresses (complete with cell phone pictures to provide evidence), and his abortive attempt to repeat Russian phrases brother Steve learned from watching the news ("That’s Polish!" Anastasia scolded him).

And now, through the miracle of technology undreamt of just a few years ago, I'll now post pictures from Scott's camera phone, forwarded to Shelly's phone, forwarded to my email address!

Highlight of Tuesday was this awesome stingray sand sculpture I made, with some help from Dad.

What? They can’t bend their tails like that? What is this, an inquisition? See if I ever make a sand sculpture for you again!!

Alright, now that I've finally got that posted, I'll get right to work tomorrow describing the rest of the week. Right now, though, that lithe, bikini-clad Misty May is kicking up the Bejing sand in Women's Beach Volleyball, and I'm drawn irresistably to the television. (Don't worry, Shelly's OK with it! Aren't you, babe? Babe? Whoa, there, hon, what are you doing with that knife...AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

Stay turned for tomorrow's installment, featuring "Vacation, Part 2" and "Classic Erika's Eternal Birthday Dinner"!

And Away We Go!

Shelly and I are getting ready to head to the Outer Banks, and I promised one more blog before I left. I'm a man of my word.

Shelly finished up the BAR exam on Wednesday after a grueling two days. It really took it out of her. Anything that takes two months of 8 hour days to study for, and still only get 65-70% of the questions right, is sure to have an affect. She doesn't know how she did, but is glad to be done with it. I'm glad to have her back to her usual happy, relaxed self. So, let's everyone congratulate her by way of the COMMENT PAGE! And also, congrats to DC-Bound Melissa for successfully completing the BAR as well!

Also of note, Shelly and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary! That was Tuesday, the 29th. I'm sure anyone who was there remembers the heat. We didn't do much on that particular day, given it was after the first day of the BAR. Classic Erika did bring over dinner, an uncharacteristically thoughtful act for which we were both very appreciative. (Kidding, Classic Erika! You're always thoughtful!)

I also received three spinal adjustments this week, which have solved my middle back problems, though my lower back continues to amaze and confound. But yesterday, in our anniversary gift to one another, Shelly and I kicked our vacation off right and took a trip to Massage Envy. My masseuse, Kira, hurt me in the most delightful way; that girl was definitely not afraid to attack those muscle knots for all she was worth.

We ended the night by coming home and watching 21, which was alright. I also finished up the July budget, so unfortunately it was time for Shelly and I's monthly money argument. She got so mad that she grabbed my wallet and, in a display of rank symbolism, slam dunked it in the toilet! OK, Shelly didn't really do that. I can't imagine anyone who would do such a thing...

OK, it's about time to get going. I'll see everyone in a week, with pictures galore! Oh, speaking of pictures, Carola, if you're reading this, you have multiple "Easter Eggs" hidden around the office, waiting for you to find them during the course of the week! Just to make sure the office still thinks about me while I'm gone... :)