Lunch Date

It was a first: Shelly came down to Garner to have lunch with me today. Her mother was in town from Charlotte, and had seen a TV commercial for Captain Stanley's Seafood off of Hwy 70. Only five miles from my place of employment, I leapt at the chance for a long-delayed lunch outing.
The first whiff of trouble came when I arrived at the restaurant, maybe 5 minutes ahead of the girls. All I can say is that Captain Stanley must have forgotten to purge the bilge tanks or something because the stench that assaulted my nostrils made short work of the appetite I'd worked up. Our waitress informed us that they believed a shrimp or oyster had fallen behind one of the booths, but we weren't fooled; there's no mistaking a backed-up toilet when you smell one. But I guess her explanation sounds better than "Oh, that's just ____ you're smelling!"
But a guy's gotta eat. Retreating to the smoking section, ironically the only area free of noisome fume, the three of us managed to scarf down $28.00 worth of food, which wasn't bad considering we each ate a full meal. However, no sooner did we finish then the malignant odor wafted through the barrier, forestalling any attempt at post-consumption pleasantries. We were lucky to escape with our lives.
So maybe it's unfair, but I somehow doubt I'll be going back again; it'd be just as easy to take a picnic at the local sewage treatment plant.